I Bet She Hates Them Jubbly-Jubs

So you know those random conversations you hear as you pass somebody in the store or hear at a restaurants as you wait for your meal?

The conversations you almost feel embarrassed to be listening to?

Yes, those.

My favorite kinds of conversations to listen to are;

A) Break-up stories

B) Conversations about family/coworkers/friends that aren't the nicest

C) Stories that involve passionate black women.

And D) Awkward first date conversations

Example A) I was sitting in PF Chang's and a girl who was probably, I don't know, 16 or 17 was going on about how she didn't know what went wrong with her relationship.

Apparently she was doing all the right things,

Calling him every night,

Cleaning his house,

Cooking his food.

She figured everything was okay and that he was going to propose the night he broke up with her.

Sounds to me that boy wanted a maid, not a girlfriend

Example B) One day we were in Sam's Club getting things and we were walking down a aisle and we crossed paths with a couple of black ladies.

The only thing I heard out of that conversation was, 'I know she can not stand to look at herself in the mirror with all them jubbly-jubs'.

I kid you not, those are the exact words.

We just figured that 'jubbly-jubs' are fat.

I think that we would be right about that guess.

Example C) A lady was on the phone with someone saying that she wouldn't believe that Shannon was letting that [insert mean word] fool live in her house.

She the proceeded to say that he was going to get all her babies kilt and if she didn't kick him out she (the lady on the phone) was going to call the police and get them babies.

The person said something on the other line then the lady said, 'I don't care if their momma is a good person, if you lay around all day smokin weed, you ain't supposed to be feed no kids'.

Except with a few more.... colorful words inserted.

And finally we come to my most favorite:

Example D) Girl: So, you grew up in Chicago?

Guy: Yeah

Girl: Oh, was it nice?

Guy: Yeah

[Long awkward pause]

Guy: What do your parents do?

Girl: Well my dad is a lawyer and-

Guy: Oh so your dad is rich?

Girl: Yeah something like that

(Seriously these words were actually spoken.)

I bet you can guess who picked up the tab

Ahhh, the joys of conversations we aren't supposed to hear.