I have known ever since I was a little kid that God want me to let Him be in control of my life. I've known that for what seems like forever. Well, I ask myself now, why has it taken me so many years to be able to really do it? Why has it taken me so long to give up all of my hopes and dreams up to God? I know that He will do what is best for me, I know that I'm going to end up loving the life He is going to give me. Why has it taken me so many years?
The problem is I'm a planner. I had my life all planned out, finish high school, go to college and study ____, (depends on what year it was. I decided many times what the "perfect" job for me was) fall madly in love, get married, have ___ number of children, (this also depended on the year) watch them grow up and retire happily.
That is the problem. I wanted so badly to have a fairy tale life that I didn't look at the big picture. I didn't ask God what He wanted. In my "perfect life" God was in a box, and that is the way I wanted it. If God wasn't there then... then I wouldn't have to wory about unexpected pop-ups right? Boy, was I wrong! God shouldn't be in a box. He should be my center!
Of course I still want all those things to happen. Who wouldn't? But I've decided that I'm going to wait for God to tell me if I'm going to have that life or one that he picked out. I've learned that our lives aren't like books that we can write and if we don't like how the story is progressing then we can just erase it or push the back space button. Lives are forever! I want God to write my story for me, because He is the best author.
This doesn't mean that I've given up that storytell life forever, but for now, in this season of my life, the life I'm living is the perfect storytell. It's the best story of all because it is the one that God has written for me. Now, I know that most of these stories are usually the same; first bad things happen, and seem to be getting worse, but just as the unthinkable is about to happen, the prince swoops in and saves the princess! And of course they live happily ever after!
In my story the prince is God and he will be untill he decides to let the perfect man step in.
